Marketing 101: The Winning Intro

CitizenShipper CitizenShipper · Updated April 8, 2024

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They say if you want to learn, learn from someone who already knows. Here is some insider info on writing a great message from a great marketer.

The first message is an important one as it is the foundation for building a positive relationship with the customer, and ultimately leading you to winning a shipment.

With our recent Intro Message release, you’ll be able to write an intro that’ll be sent with your first bid. Keeping in mind the importance of writing a good intro and leaving a great first impression, we’ve prepared this article illustrating some ways to write a great intro.

We’ve performed extensive research on what kind of first messages customers respond to most favorably. It turns out that the answer is pretty simple: If a driver writes a bit about their previous experience and a bit about themselves, the chances are pretty high that driver will win the shipment. But there is a catch; you will not be the only one who writes about experience.

This is why your intro has to be as much of a sales pitch as it is a description.

It’s a fact that no matter how much experience you have, if you don’t point it out in the right way, you won’t get much engagement. This is why we asked our marketer to give you some tips on how to write a Great Intro That Sells.

First Things First: What Is The Intro Feature All About?

The intro message is a short description of yourself and your previous experience, and most importantly – your first contact with a customer.

Imagine you want to ship your pet, which is a part of your family. Imagine that you have to give your pet to a total stranger and trust them to deliver it safely. Now imagine that you have only bids or short messages from drivers you have to put your faith into. How much trust would you put into someone who is unwilling to tell you about themselves and why they are the best driver you could hire?

This is why it’s so important to make a connection with a customer, explaining who you are and what would you do if you were the one to transport their precious cargo.

Message Dos and Don’ts

‘Hey there. I’ll be passing by your pickup location, I can do it for $$.’ Imagine the look on the customer’s face when they read a message like this. They are looking at their pet and saying “don’t do it” out loud to the animal in horror.

This is a definite DON’T.

When you write your first message, try to be positive, friendly and to describe your previous experience as much as you can.

‘Hello there! My name is Isidora and I’m a certified CitizenShipper driver. I have a lot of experience in pet transportation. I am a pet lover who is aware how important is for a pet to feel safe and relaxed during the trip. It’s a new environment for them and I strive to make it a pleasant one. I can promise a lot of water, regular stops on every 3 hours and pictures from the road. In addition, I’ll share my location with you so you can track us and see where are we headed at every moment. May I ask what is your budget?’

This message coming from a marketer is a definitive DO. With this Intro, the driver has said it all.

Let’s analyze it a bit. You’ll see that some parts are bolded. This is because we wanted to point out WHAT words will decrease friction in customer’s eyes. These ‘keywords’ as we call them are words that will help you win a shipment.

‘It’s a new environment for them and I strive to make it a pleasant one.’ – with this sentence you are showing off your previous experience and how much you know about pet transportation.

‘Hey there! I am a certified CS driver and I’ll be close to your pickup location. I love pets and I have a lot of experience in pet transportation. Will $$ work for you?’. Better than a previous DON’T, but still – please don’t. You wrote a short description about yourself and your previous experience, but from a customer’s point of view, if you don’t have time to introduce yourself properly, you will not have time to transport their precious cargo in a caring manner and with appropriate activities. In addition, it looks like you don’t mean it. 

Instead, try something like:

‘Hello! My name is Isidora and I would love to transport your pet. As a certified CS driver and a pet lover, I can promise regular stops, a lot of drinking water and of course – pictures from the road! I’ll share my location with you so you can feel less worried about your fluffy family member.’

Can you spot the difference? DO send this type of intro. But what is missing here? Your previous experience.

If you HAVE previous experience point it out by writing: ‘I have a lot of experience in pet transportation and I really do my best for both, a pet and a pet owner to feel safe and comfortable. I am aware that you might feel insecure in putting your trust in a total stranger and this is why I’ll share our location and send you pictures from the road’.

If you don’t have any previous experience, try to point out anything that can help you win a shipment.

‘I am really crazy about pets and I’m a pet owner myself. I know how difficult and frustrating it must be for you to trust your family member to a total stranger for a few days. This is why I want to share our location with you and send you regular pictures from our stops. I can guarantee I’ll do my best to reduce anxiety your pet might feel during our trip.’

This can work well for all the new drivers.

Why we’re giving out tips on pets mostly? Because every pet owner feels his pet is a part of his family and this is where customers have a great amount of apprehension about putting their trust in a total stranger. But motorcycle lovers, customers who want to ship a vehicle or a boat, even a household good have some uncertainties as well.

If you transport any of these items don’t think you can just write a regular ‘I’ll do it for $$’ type of message.

These customers maybe don’t have emotions as intense about their cargo as pet owners do, but they do still want it taken care of.

‘I have a lot of experience in motorcycle transportation and I can guarantee your bike will arrive on time and in the same condition I pick it up’ . or ‘ I transported vehicles in the past and I can guarantee I will meet the deadline. I’ll share my location with you so you can track your vehicle.’. ‘I have a lot of experience in transportation and I can guarantee an on-time delivery and taking care of your (cargo) like it was mine’. With these types of cargo, you have to give them some reason to trust you.

Caution  is less intense than with the pet owners, but it still exists and you are the one who has to ease their fears.

Communication is the key to success

Whatever you transport, you should be genuinely explaining to customers that you will take care of their property or their pet and to ensure your communication goes smoothly. If you are not being honest with your intentions, it will show in your ratings and your ability to win more shipments.

We understand that it’s not that easy to make a connection with everyone, especially through messages, but you have to try your best. If you send a detailed intro like these DO examples above, there is a really great chance that you’ll get an answer and your chance of winning a shipment may increase by 60%.

Pro Tip 1: phrases that sell

Some of the phrases that will increase your chance of winning a shipment are:

‘I can guarantee an on-time delivery and taking care of your vehicle, motorcycle, cargo’
‘I am crazy about pets and I am a pet owner myself’
‘Pictures from the road, plenty of water for your pet and regular stops’
‘I’ll share my location with you’
‘I have a lot of experience in transporting (cargo)’
‘I understand how worrying it must be for you to trust a complete stranger with your pet’
‘I’ll do my best to make this ride a stress-free trip for your pet’
‘We’ll have regular stops where we’ll send you pictures from the road’

Pro Tip 2:

When talking about shipping a pet, use ‘We’ instead of ‘I’. It’s their family member you’re talking about and they’ll feel more confident in putting their trust in you.

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Intro template 1 on 1

What is very important when writing a good intro that sells? You will have one, template intro that will go with each and every your bid (or separate, if you wish to send the Intro first. Keep in mind that if your interests include several categories, like pets, motorcycles, and boats. You cannot write “I guarantee regular stops’ for a boat shipment, nor for a vehicle shipment. It doesn’t make any sense. Instead, we suggest having an Intro that can relate to the category you’re mostly bidding on. Motorcycles, boats, heavy equipment and vehicles can have the same Intro message. When it comes to pets, an Intro should be different.

If you don’t have any specifics and you bid on several categories that differ one from another, we suggest having a basic Introduction.

‘Hey there! My name is Isidora and I’m a certified CitizenShipper driver. I have a lot of experience in transportation and I can guarantee an on-time delivery. I will share my location with you so you can track everything. What budget did you have in mind?’

This way, you are giving out basic info about yourself, your experience and you’re giving them some value if they pick you. ‘On-time delivery’ and ‘I’ll share my location’ gives them a piece of mind. Asking about their budget proved to be a good communication tactic, showing that you’re ready to negotiate and that you care. This does not mean you should say yes to any budget if it doesn’t have any economic sense for you.

Are you ready? I think you’re gonna rock it!

Add your Intro right now and if you need any help contact us on support@citizenshipper.com or if you need any additional tip contact our marketer at isi@citizenshipper.com

Keep on Drivin’